i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
