I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
