I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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