I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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