I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
