This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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