You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
