just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
