I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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