Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
