my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
