Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
