Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
