Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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