More tranny stories later!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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