There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
