Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
