You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
