this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
