I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
