i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize