found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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