Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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