my mouth tastes like poor choices
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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