wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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