So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
