I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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