omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
