So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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