New invention idea: vibrating tampons
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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