It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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