ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
