we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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