What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
