I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
