I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
