I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
