Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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