just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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