Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
