if only i could text you this smell
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
