Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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