Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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