Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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