well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
