Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
