dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
