it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
