We left an ass print on the piano.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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