so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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